La Sposa

Il Vestito della Sposa (parte uno)

L’esordio.
Il giorno dell’appuntamento con l’atelier (chi l’avrebbe mai detto, settimane di “nonvogliorobadasposa“, “naasaràunacosasemplice” e “nonhosoldidabuttareio!”) la Testimone della Sposa, vittima designata delle titubanze e crisi di nervi della nubenda, si accorge con orrore di pustole e macchie sparse sulla schiena.
Parte rapida consultazione telefonica (“l’hai avuta la varicella?”, “ma la febbre l’hai misurata?“, “o porca pupazza, la sfiga!“) e purtroppamente la Testimone deve dare forfait (dove non riuscì il traffico potè il bacillo del bimbo al chiuso).
Il gruppo di supporto alla fatale scelta si riduce quindi ad un solo, coraggioso e tenace elemento: Cristina.

L’inizio.
Ore 15.15, la fida Cristina si fa trovare davanti all’ufficio della Sposa. Ella nel frattempo ha monitorato, firmato, emailato, discusso, deciso e pubblicato come se non ci fosse un domani. Alle 15 era già pronta per il cicchetto consolatorio al Tribeca. Ma l’avventura l’attende.

Prima tappa, la Metro B. Una fermata, cambio a Termini. Serve la A, una sola fermata e si arriva. Ma aspetta: cos’è questo caos? Perchè quei gentili signori fanno cenno di uscire e SBARRANO LE SCALE PER LA A CON DEL NASTRO? Signore, Linea A bloccata, dovete uscire e prendere il bus navetta. Ok, capita. Certo, spese di Natale e pioggia (perchè nel frattempo ha cominciato) di certo NON AIUTANO, ma basta prenderla con filosofia. L’appuntamento è alle 16:30, c’è tutto il tempo.

Seconda tappa: il tram 15. No signora, a lei conviene il tram, guardi, è già alla fermata, la navetta ancora deve arrivare e sarà affollatissima. In fondo sono solo due o tre fermate. Ma sì, vada per il tram. Semaforo, curva, via Cavour. Lamiera ovunque. Clacson. Sgommate. Fermi, attendiamo che il drago di vetture scorra. Finalmente è arrivato il momento, si avanza, le rotaie curvano verso sinistra ed il 15 lentamente si avventura per girare … scroootch!
Simpatica Mercedes in terza fila, via lo sportello. I minuti scorrono, tra un porcoqui e un porcolà, tutti sigillati nel tram. Finalmente, dopo parecchi minuti, il conducente coglie il rischio di linciaggio se non si decide a liberare il fiume in piena e le porte si aprono.

Terza tappa: Chinatown. La Sposa e la fida Cristina si avventurano nei dintorni di piazza Vittorio, stradina più, stradina meno. Uniche o quasi esponenti del genere caucasico, si dedicano allo slalom tra mercerie cinesi, boutique cinesi, drogherie cinesi, cinesi, cinesi e cinesi. Per chiedere informazioni è necessario arrivare dalla parte opposta della piazza (accaldate, affannate e con la ridarola in corpo) per trovare finalmente un compatriota in grado di fornire intelligibili indicazioni sull’esatta (“dietro ‘stò palazzo, me sa a destra ma po’ esse pura a sinistra, no ‘o sò, prova, è dellà comunque“) collocazione dell’atelier. Tra una insegna cinese e una impalcatura, eccolo.

Quarta tappa: l’atelier. Signora di mezza età, rotondetta, tinta nera corvo e sguardo accusatorio dietro le lenti esce e si accomoda nell’atrio con vetrine. Osserva Sposa e complice che si avventurano all’interno e decide, a malincuore, di seguirle. “Lei è?” “LaSposa“. “Sì, è vero (…?…)” “Lei però non ci ha fatto sapere cosa le piace signorina” (esiste un sito, dell’Atelier, dove – se VUOI- puoi consultare i modelli, sposa e cerimonia, e farti un’idea di cosa ti piace. L’obbligo di comunicazione preventiva non è presente; laddove fosse, non saremmo qui). “No, sa, ero fuori per lavoro (c’ho ‘na vita, oltre al matrimonio) e non mi è stato possibile. Comunque mi sono segnata i codici di alcuni modelli, ve li posso indicare“. “Ah, ma qui non abbiamo tutto (e se, visto che mi hai chiamata QUATTRO VOLTE, dopo la richiesta di appuntamento, me l’avessi detto?!)” ” Se vuole più scelta deve andare al punto vendita nel centro commerciale XXX (dall’altra parte di Roma). Comunque guardA, magari troviamo qualcos’altro. Ho capito il genere, semplice e corto. Che ne dici di questo (mostrando un tubino di BALZE stile spagnola in chiffon, con mega FIORE di stoffa su una spalla e stola)?” “Mmm, no, intendevo proprio liscio” “Ah, ma questo è BELLISSIMO E SEMPLICISSIMO!” “Sssì, ma no, grazie“. “E questo (gonna lunga con strascico-meringa di pizzo legata in vita da un fiocco, aperta davanti, mostra sotto una gonna aderente DI ALTRO PIZZO, lunghezza al ginocchio)? Questo è BELLO, no?” “Grazie, ma ero più orientata su un abito da cerimonia“. “Eh, ma quelli sono difficili da trovare, eh” “Ahem. Immagino”. Ne scorrono quattro o cinque, uno cucito peggio dell’altro. Un tripudio di fili tirati e cuciture a vista. È tempo di fuggire.

Quinta tappa: dopo il faticoso rientro (il bus del ritorno verso Termini una vera esperienza mistica, il 90 verso i casalinghi lidi affollato stile Mumbai) la Sposa e la tenace Cristina, pive nel sacco ma mai dome, decidono per una visita al negozio dell’improbabile “ma non si sa mai”.
Scarpinata – ormai un must – eccole alla porta. Una signora di nero vestita, con turbante in lana e brillantino al naso, le conduce di sotto “Anche se noi riceviamo solo su appuntamento, eh. Però vabbè, date un’occhiata per adesso” (grazie, commosse ringraziamo dell’opportunità concessa). “Qualcosa in grigio, mmm? Mah, magari anche quel fango, non è male. “Sì, però dovete tornare a metà gennaio, tanto non manca molto. Ecco la brochure, potete farvi un’idea. E poi c’è anche il sito“. Un’occhiata a Dracula traslucido e GungaDin in copertina e tutto è molto chiaro. “Grazie. Torneremo allora a gennaio“.

L’epilogo.
Al freddo, in strada, le nostre eroine attendono l’arrivo del salvatore Carlo con la sua calda ed accogliente automobile (numero max di mezzi pubblici incarogniti raggiunto e superato). Per rendere produttiva la giornata, la Sposa decide di darsi alla cocretezza quotidiana e si fa lasciare davanti al supermercato, per dare un senso e dimenticare, con il latte parzialmente scremato e i Ricciarelli dello Sposo.

Tra un allarme bomba nella metro (ecco cos’era!) e un salto nel regno del sintetico per wannabe principesse, almeno un risultato lo si è portato a casa: alla prossima, appuntamento da Max Mara.
Il tentativo low-cost c’è stato. Non ha funzionato.

La Sposa depressa avviluppata nel rayon non la vogliamo. Mi è allergica, poi.

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  65. Thanks to Rufus for a very good start to the week. A little over an hour to complete with no assistance from anyone, that doesn’t happen very often. Although there was still some head scratching, 20d for example, before the penny dropped – there’s more than one type of cryptic clue!. Last in was 24d, I tried to make it more difficult than it was and needed the check letter from 25a, which was second to last in, to complete it. So, for me, * or **/****

  66. Hello GM Alexandra – the Chess Queen – and my favourite world champion. We don’t have Halloween here but greetings to you as well. Cannot help point out – you are made for the camera. Maybe someday we see you in Hollywood. Those are very expressive photos!!! All the best.

  67. liebe ellja, es steht sogar ganz am Anfang – ab 2. Zeile im von meinem von dir verlinkten Text drinnen. ich zitiere: "Gerade im Mühlviertel gedeihen die Erdäpfel hervorragend, weil ihnen das raue Klima taugt und der Boden sandig ist. Wenn es zu Erdäpfel-Speckgerichte noch Sauerkraut und Apfelkompott gibt, ist des Mühlviertlers Glück perfekt. Ja, nicht nur beim Chinesen gibt es Süßsauer."

  68. It must be such a mess to clean up from the ash. My parents’ farm was in the path of the ash after Mt. St. Helens erupted back in the 80s. The ash seeped through closed doors and windows in their home, and outside everything was covered in a layer of ash.

  69. Frajayo Ayer hice una prueba con el coche, lo saqué al atardecer, por los alrededores de mi casa y por un centro comercial, te puedo asegurar que veía de maravilla, de noche que antes me brillaban todas las farolas ahora las veo nítidas, el salpicadero del coche que me la veía y deseaba para ver ciertas indicaciones, ahora lo veo con una claridad pasmosa.El nacimiento tiene fama en Zaragoza, pero creo que es el mas grande de España, las figuras prácticamente son del tamaño real.

  70. También me gustó mucho esto, pero no tanto como los dos de distancia – probablemente debido a la regla de tres de distancia significaba que era mucho más fácil de solucionar las cadenas, ya que había menos posibles. Será interesante ver qué combinación se te ocurrió que viene!

  71. Rather than taking time to dismantle your strawman argument, let’s start with a single question.How much socialism should we incorporate into our trade system?

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  73. It always fascinates me how religion is so paradoxical. It is like they are saying we will love you and welcome you into the fold. But the moment you do this or that, they will be the first to turn their backs on you.

  74. The real tragedy is that the average American can't comprehend this fall. How can one begin to assess the damage the Clintonesquemindset has done to our Nation. You nailed it with the Derivative statement, none of these people would be anything if they were not simply chance Americans, the fact they wreaked such havoc for personal gain reflects the incompetence of the American voter.Blindness.

  75. Alex, sa nu ne pripim. Teoria lui Newton e perfect valabila si astazi iar teoria relativitatii generale a lui Einstein nu o contrazice, ci o completeaza. As putea spune ca Newton e o parte din ecuatia Einstein.Fizica cuantica iar nu se contrazice cu teoria relativitatii, pentru ca se aplica la altceva. Relativitatea unificata, acest Graal al fizicienilor, este posibil sa se realizeze, dar pentru ca inca nu s-a facut, nu inseamna ca nu se poate face. 

  76. I think I’ll drop him a line too. I should have a message about this issue coming through the Afrosphere google group this evening, so check for that. For now I’m off to cover Titans training camp for the local paper.

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  78. “Here comes Alt A”Make,Along with pay option only, a much bigger problem than subprime.JB,They were great. A little too much politics. I thought I was on the NJRER. Geting too old for back to back. I wonder how Fuld feels. He has back to back to back on the horizon, with a depleted pitching staff.John,Drexel lives on. It’s now called the Fed.

  79. bueno los dos son muy buenos escritores pero no por eso este tipo va hablar de una escritora la cual sus lectores han tenido bastantes aventuras y estas asi mismo han tenido exito en sus relatos y aunque sean para adolescentes no me importa es una historia de amor no todos los dias se leen nadamas historias de terror ok pero me gusta mas las historia de meyer son mas creativas

  80. Pelkästään googlettamalla löytää bisfenoli A:sta paljon tietoa. En kuitenkaan menisi kirjoittamaan siitä vielä kriittiseen sävyyn, koska tähän mennessä tehdyt tutkimukset tuntuu olevan melko puolueellisia oli ne sitten puolesta tai vastaan.

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  85. Dobra, może ja się wypowiem bo coś o tym słyszałem. Bugi z wersji na wersje np. bety 1.8.1 na 1.2.5 były następujące. Gdy jak w becie 1.8.1 wygenerowaliśmy mapę do pewnego momentu, a później dalszą część w wersji 1.2.5 to pojawiały się cięcia mapy takie jak widoczne są na zdjęciu. Moje zdanie jest takie, że zdjęcie próbuje ukazać poprawę tego bugu.Pozdrawiam AlexMarianek =)

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  95. Od pana pierwszych zdaÅ„ ,wyczuÅ‚em braterstwo myÅ›li.Pan chyba jest fachowcem w dziedzinie filozofii,ja tylko amatorem.CheÅ‚piÄ™ siÄ™ ,że tak naprawdÄ™, to znam fizykÄ™- gdzie indziej jestem dyletantem, dosyć zuchwaÅ‚ym jak na porÄ™ “o zmierzchu”.Pozdrawiam.

  96. A McLaren deu uma “freada” no finlandês.Não faz muito sentido a McLaren contratar para ser o escudeiro de Hamilton um piloto novo e talentoso (Vettel ou Rosberg).Acho que ela fica mesmo com o Sting.Que vai estar mais habituado a equipe.Valeu Ico.

  97. You mentioned the size of the tablet, or at least the text bubble mentioned it. Size not mattering is not really true, as I found out (and get your minds out of the gutter, please:P ) First tablet i bought was a small one, I believe it was an A6, so very small. Turns out, what matters in choosing a tablet is the way you draw. A6 is the right size if you draw with fingers, A5 would be nice if you use wrist and fingers, I use my whole arm while drawing.. so i needed the big ones.. Lucky me :/

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  133. Thank you Uzma. You are so right – it’s not easy! It’s the human condition to be taken in by our feelings, to remember we can step out of identification with them, and to begin again. Just as in meditation.Simple and a life’s work at the same time.I love your phrase, “smiling the peace.” Love it!And yes, so true, it’s all about becoming aware of feelings, aware of thoughts, and in that consciousness, unhooking from them…then we get to smile and feel that peace.Thanks for being here.Tara[]

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  135. se le ocurrió pedir una camioneta dakota eléctrica, xq nosotros tuvimos una pero la vendimos y a mi crío le encantaba, le mostré un folleto de juguetes y le dije ves esa no esta, y me dijo “No te preocupes mamá Santa y los reyes son buenos para encontrar los juguetes q son difíciles de encontar” A ver como nos va este año =-)

  136. myrian si tes pas contente de mes commentaire parce que toi tu est en amour avec marc boilard bien ta juste a pas les lire… on est dans un pays libre.lol

  137. tmk pisze:Bez sprzętu freeplay?bez kelly kettle? filtra do wody.Lars nie chciał przetestować sobie swojego uber sprzętu?:)więcej takich akcji! ale z wykorzystaniem lepszego sprzętu, co może być recenzją.

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  139. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

  140. Excellentissime, on a tendance a se penser si speciaux, dans une societe si compliquee, la verite est toujours la meme: Apprends ton histoire pour ne pas repeter les memes erreurs! Rien n’a vraiment change.La question reste ouverte ds cet article: pas de dettes et pas de futur ou dettes = investissement pour notre futur.Comme toute l’histoire du 19eme siecle, sans 2 guerres mondiales nous aurions peut etre une reponse.

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  145. Obviously my position is don’t-blame-Deen (diabetes is not necessarily an excessive price to pay for getting to eat gloriously larded food) but I think (1) is really unpersuasive on the merits. Is it “disgusting” for — say — Whisky mag to get paid to advertise hangover cures? Presumably the relevant distinction is that diabetes is permanent rather than temporary. Or something.

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  148. Questo video sta girando ovunque… Sinceramente, io spero che non si avveri. Trasformare il corteggiamento in una sorta di videogame dove si guadagnano punti in stile Mario Bross… Argh!Però una applicazione di realtà aumentata sui miei occhiali farebbe davvero comodo 🙂

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  277. Well, if Buckingham Palace is anything like the Victoria and Albert Museum, she may need that map. I was never so embarassed as when I was trying to find the exit and it took me 3 hours to get out. I went through the same room about 4 times before a security guard finally felt sorry for me and walked me to an exit (which I probably still couldn’t find!).

  278. Seandainya anda muslim… saya nasihatkan supaya dihentikan kenyataan bertujuan untuk membenarkan video fitnah lucah tersebut. Ulama2 Malaysia(termasuk mufti Perak) dah sepakat mengatakan HARAM menyiarkan video fitnah tersebut, maka semua usaha dan kenyataan kearah menbenarkan fitnah tersebut adalah juga haram. Kalau buat yg haram tu berdosa dan kalau dah tahu berdosa tapi masih diteruskan juga ..takut2 nanti jatuh fasiq. fikir-fikirkan.

  279. Federer/Bonaparte ? Ça c’est un parallèle intéressant !J’imagine que l’époque du sacre est passé ainsi que la Campagne de Russie… On en serait aux 100 jours et au retour de l’Aigle ? Tu prédis quand Waterloo ?

  280. Good thing we don’t have citizen-initiated referenda here – maybe Queensland and WA might have anti-gay and/or anti affirmative action laws if we did.

  281. Peter Hall / What a great story… so well told by Mark Jackson and his cast. That scene with Alex Moggridge and Marilee Talkinton…being rolled around on that platform was totally cinematic. I loved being a camera!

  282. When I saw the ad, I thought it was pretty interesting but, like yourself, I knew it would be perceived negatively.I suppose that can partially be attributed to the righteous attitude possessed by the country at the time- the presence of an obvious perpetrator and relatable victims versus a sea of unfamiliar East-Asian faces and uncertainty as to who to blame (nature? the government?)

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  286. By mind you know where I can consciously self talk (think) solve problems put mental effort in, imagine etc, and it does this automatically when im not doing it on purpose.

  287. I like Brox’s Brilliant: The Evolution of Artificial Light for the bare bones of a history of this major aspect of physical culture, despite some technical errors and a bad case of western-civ-centralism.

  288. IT FOR MEI’d add to my general agreement with the gang; why are we handing out $8000 tax credits like candy when Obama wants a $700B health care plan on top of our grandkids’ current trillions of dollars debt to the banksters?This country has gone out of its mind and if you think the bottom 95% of American incomes won’t be taxed to death by 2010/2011 for these insane government actions; I’ve got a bridge to sell you or another state tax increase to put under your Christmas tree. – Rate this comment: 0  0

  289. Hej Sanne. Jeg er meget interesseret i denne kur! For jeg er en pige med appetit! Jeg har taget hele 10 kilo på siden februar (fra 54 kilo til 64-65 kilo), og er utrolig ked af det. Jeg har ingen selvtillid tilbage overhovedet. Jeg ønsker ikke at tabe mig alle 10 kilo igen, men mellem 5 og 8 kilo. Jeg vil bare gerne have en plan over, hvad jeg eventuel kan spise, morgen, middag og aften, samt mellemmåltider? Venlige hilsner

  290. Bonjour, Bravo pour votre blog, et toute la tendresse et le réalisme de vos descriptions de la Chine. C’est très, très juste, sauf un point de détail, peut-être : il est peu probable que votre jeune volontaire passe ses J.-O. d’été au fond d’une patinoire. Ou elle risque de se sentir bien seule…

  291. Tack Patrik för länken. Adrenalinet börja flöda. Mycket intressant ! Boxer hävdar jag blev förändrad av att importera en Boxer hane på 70 talet från just England bara för man ville ha vit i boxer mer. Avkomma av den blev hjärtfel och eksem mellan tassar. Schäffer måste man ta in nytt blod från andra ställen i världen det gör försvaret. Detta är en falsk värld har varit i den.Tack för att jag fick se den.

  292. I can’t wait to try the new one in Kansas City! Maybe we could meet there next time I’m in town. Austin is obsessed with their raw chocolate milkshake out here. I want to try the Mint Chip one now!

  293. (la même anonyme qu’au-dessus)bon, je savais que je m’étais plantée qque part:c’est une comparaison de densité, dc de masse volumique! et la suite du raisonnement est bon… (corrigez-moi si c’est faux. même raison que ds message au dessus)

  294. I saw a yard sign promoting someone for Drain Commissioner. WTH is that??? And they’re running AGAINST someone else, meaning there are at least 2 people who know what that is and want to do it. Mind boggling.

  295. O Emerson falsificou ( ou alguém por le) todos os seus documentos, inclusive arrumou uma certidão de casamento. Com 17 anos, ele nem podia ter a carteira de reservista.

  296. j’ai un exposé sur le jour de la mort de primo levi chez JORGE SEMPRUN !!! stp ,yoré til quelqun ki pourait m’aider a ttouver les axe et idees principaless ? je suis perdue !:(merci d’avance !

  297. a5156157Eh oui, JM Jancovici, préfaceur de la version française de la réédition de “Les limites de la croissance”, un des rares à être un tantinet écouté par nos politiques (eut-être parce qu’il n’est pas opposé au nucléaire, il en est même un plutôt promoteur. C’est son moindre défaut à mon sens)347bb45

  298. Love, love, love this Morgan and can't wait to take your advice and do this with my recipes and blog tips. Thanks for sharing [ .fqkj{position:absolute;clip:rect(445px,auto,auto,488px);}approval ]

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  311. This whole birth certificate thing is an 'odd thing' at the very least. Why do we have an administration that has done this odd thing?If you believe birthers then there is something going on, or if you dismiss birthers, there is still something going on.

  312. What is the most common steel iron shaft brand on the PGA Tour?  How has Project X been accepted?  Do the Tour guys use standard or flighted version in Rifles?

  313. Boy, I’ve missed a lot in the last 24 hours, but I am so proud of everyone who had any part in getting rid of this very hateful and hurtful person. I’ve stayed silent because John DiDonna, Paul Castaneda, and I decided that was best, but it has been hard. Great job everyone!

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  356. Dear Ravi,Its because of Hatch Waxman. Generics are incentivised to challenge bad patents. And normally you can’t file an ANDA during the term of patent/data exclusivity. And the fact that you file it during this term means that you think the patent is an invalid one )—and therefore this artificial trigger for a patent litigation. I hope this clarifies. Shamnad

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